by tomnora | Apr 30, 2020 | Life Design, Psychology
(to find out who you are).
I had boss say to me early in my career, “Just be who you are, quit trying to be someone else.”
At the time it really pissed me off. Who the hell did he think he was giving me pop psychology?Maybe someone had just told him that so he was projecting. Screw him, I thought. What an asshole.
However, over the many, many years since he told me that, it’s echoed in my mind a hundred times. It’s probably the best piece of wisdom he ever gave me.
So I check myself every once in a while now.
This time we are currently in is temporary, yet it will change us permanently in some ways. Sooner than we think it will be gone. For the rest of our lives, we’ll be able to say we went through the Coronavirus, like people who experienced WWII or 9/11.
We are in the middle of a tragedy, and I’m very sad for all the suffering, pain, dying, and general disorientation we now face daily. But I’m also relieved for some of the things this time is giving us. Slow down, quiet, peace, time to reflect and possibly change some things.
Some of the best major changes in life happen as a result of a crisis or great loss. I know, I’ve had my share –– we all have. We can safely now tap into these thoughts, reflect, be honest with ourselves. It’s like repartitioning our hard drive (brain).
Our Inner Thoughts
Deep down we are all individuals, alone with our most inner thoughts that no one else knows. Usually there’s too much going on to stop and truly think about life. When an opportunity does present itself to shut off the noise –– on a hike, meditating, in our own backyard thinking.
As the world is now starting to “open up” again, this unique time will be gone forever. So make the most of it.
It will be back to the noise and grind and hustle. Will it be different? Most likely. But it won’t be as peaceful as it is right now.
So use what you have left to study who you really are, what you really want.
“Be as you are. As you see I am I am.” – James Taylor, B.S.U.R.
by tomnora | Apr 17, 2020 | Life Design, Psychology, writing
peace or happiness. I’ve always loved Bukowski. He wrote about and lived in L.A., in the same neighborhood I grew up in.
Tim Ferris just sent this quote out on his newsletter, brought back memories:
“Either peace or happiness, let it enfold you. When I was a young man, I felt these things were dumb, unsophisticated. I had bad blood, a twisted mind, a precarious upbringing. I was hard as granite, I leered at the sun. I trusted no man and especially no woman…. I challenged everything, was continually being evicted, jailed, in and out of fights, in and out of my mind…. Peace and happiness to me were signs of inferiority, tenants of the weak and addled mind. But as I went on … it gradually began to occur to me that I wasn’t different from the others, I was the same… Everybody was nudging, inching, cheating for some insignificant advantage, the lie was the weapon and the plot was empty…. Cautiously, I allowed myself to feel good at times. I found moments of peace in cheap rooms just staring at the knobs of some dresser or listening to the rain in the dark. The less I needed the better I felt…. I re-formulated. I don’t know when, date, time, all that but the change occurred. Something in me relaxed, smoothed out. I no longer had to prove that I was a man, I didn’t have to prove anything. I began to see things: coffee cups lined up behind a counter in a cafe. Or a dog walking along a sidewalk. Or the way the mouse on my dresser top stopped there with its body, its ears, its nose, it was fixed, a bit of life caught within itself and its eyes looked at me and they were beautiful. Then- it was gone. I began to feel good, I began to feel good in the worst situations and there were plenty of those…. I welcomed shots of peace, tattered shards of happiness…. And finally I discovered real feelings of others, unheralded, like lately, like this morning, as I was leaving, for the track, I saw my wife in bed, just the shape of her head there…. so still, I ached for her life, just being there under the covers. I kissed her in the forehead, got down the stairway, got outside, got into my marvelous car, fixed the seatbelt, backed out the drive. Feeling warm to the fingertips, down to my foot on the gas pedal, I entered the world once more, drove down the hill past the houses full and empty of people, I saw the mailman, honked, he waved back at me.”
— Charles Bukowski
